L, M, N, O, P
by The Second Side of Happiness
Summary: "See what I did! Do you like it?" Kumajiro jumped excitedly in Matthew's room. No, Matthew did not like this. He not-liked it so much his body decided he was to faint. Anthro!KumaxCanada
1. L is for Loser

**Dear **DiscombobulatedCanadian**,**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENCOURAGING ME TO POST THIS AND WRITE LIKE A MADWOMAN *insertmuchlove***

**Also, sorry it took so long to upload. FF was being douchey again.**

**Seriously, without her, this thing almost didn't make it out to the FF world. Let's give her a round of applause! /**

**Love,**

**Happiness**

**Very, very... very lame title, I know. Those never have been my forte.**

**Alright, so, here's a random anthro!KumaxCanada (hurr~ can I shorten that to Kumada?) and I'm going to try to complete at least the plot within five chapters (UPDATE: I now know this is not happening) (random shit may happen afterwards xD) and I stole his human name from **DiscombobulatedCanadian**'s **The Apple's Curse **that she let me use because she's awesome and yeah :3**

**That means the chapters are going to hopefully be quite some length each because I have quite a bit planned for these two and other poor characters (beware the subplots!).**

**Also, I pretty much changed his name more or less in the beginning but don't worry, Matt has a mini breakdown and goes back to calling him Kumajiro (or a variety of ways to say Kumajiro) in, like, chapter three**

**Also, the beginning is a little lame but, trust me, it gets better.**

**On that note, here we go.**

Kumajiro peeked around the corner as Matthew was being over taken by the albino spaz that always visited their home. His beady little eyes widened as he pushed his owner down to the bed and removed all his clothing and began to -oh what was the human term?- fuck him. He whimpered and walked off, back to his own room and curled into a little ball of disappointment but instead found there to be a three headed jelly fish invasion.

Kumajiro opened his eyes and awoke from the dream. He sat up and rubbed his eyes with his paw before getting up and strolling to Ma-what's-his'face's room, crawled up into the bed and laid across his face.

"Ack! Kuma, get off my head!" Matthew flailed his arms as his polar bear continued to lay there so he simply picked him up and put him beside him. Don't ask why he had a polar bear as a pet, his parent's were pro-environment and adopted one. That was quite some years ago and for some odd reason, his pet had not once changed size so he still looked like a cub. He scratched his unique bear's head and glanced at the clock and figured he could get up since it was only an hour until he had to get ready for school anyway. He sat up, put his glasses on and simply looked around his room. After deciding that that was rather pointless, he actually got up and got dressed, then went downstairs to make himself pancakes and do his morning stuff. Well, he was going to until he found Gilbert on his couch fast asleep. His mom would kill him if she found him here so he saved his _darling _friend's life by dropping his bear on his head before walking away to go make pancakes.

Gilbert of course was taken by surprise by the un-awesome plan of action and shot up, thus throwing Kumajiro from his head to his lap, unfortunately he managed to startle the bear and his precious vital regions were mauled by bear claws. He cried out but remembered that Matt's mom existed and slammed his face into a pillow to quiet his cries considering he felt like living. Seriously, why did the old hag hate him? How could anyone hate someone as awesome as Gilbert Weillshmidt?

Anyway, back to the problem at hand, Gilbert quickly awoke his precious Gilbird who- what? Why did she bite the awesome finger of her awesome owner? Ugh, today really wasn't his day. But back to Matthew.

Matthew hummed to himself as he flipped two pancakes and moved to the cupboards to get three plates; one for Kuma, one for himself and one for Gilbert. He scooped up the first two and put them on Gil's plate and texted Gilbert to come get his food.

"Y'know, you'd make a great wife." Gilbert teased as he entered the kitchen. Matthew rolled his eyes, used to this specific taunt, and poured enough batter on the pan for two more. What he wasn't prepared for on the other hand was the two arms that snaked around his lower half and the mouth next to his ear.

"And then I could hold you like this while you cooked before we had awesome sex." Matthew's entire being went stiff.

"Wh-wh-wh-what are you t-talking about? I'm not your wife? Besides, you're starting to sound like Berwald with Tino." Matthew would have slipped out of his arms then out the door had his pancakes not needed flipping.

"Oh, you don't know tha-" Suddenly, the arms around him were gone, along with the body that at some point had pressed against him, and instead there was a Gilbert clenching his teeth to remain quiet with a Kuma nomming away at his ass as Gilbird flapped her wings uselessly in a panic on the table. He figured Gilbert could survive a little longer as he flipped the pancakes before moving to attempt to remove his pet from his friend's butt.

When that seemed impossible, he returned to cooking his pancakes which seemed done so he put one on one plate and one on another before cooking two more. He put peanut butter and syrup on one pancake then set it on the table.

"Kuma, your food is done, come eat." He said as he moved back to the stove and Kuma removed himself from the albino freaks disgusting bum and went to eat that one guy's delicious pancakes. Matthew filled a bag with ice, wrapped a cloth around it and handed it to Gilbert.

"I swear to Gott your bear is out to kill me." Gilbert said as he leaned against the counter, pancakes in hand, ice pack tied around his waist to his butt.

"Meh, I have been wondering why he hates you so much." Matthew admitted, putting his cakes onto his plate and putting a generous amount of syrup on them. "Oh yeah, why are you here and when did you arrive?"

"About one in the morning and because I was sick of listening to my brother and Feli having sex." He shuddered as the images and sounds came back to his mind. "Not fun, bro. Not fun."

"Why didn't you come up to my room instead of risking my mom finding you here? Which reminds me, go hide in my room under the bed because she's going to be getting up soon. And bring your food and bird with you." He commanded before taking another big bite of syrup and pancakes.

"Aye, aye, cap'n." Gilbert called for Gilbird and left to go hide for his life.

Matthew turned to the sink and rinsed his plate off along with Kuma's as he pushed it on to the counter.

"You have to stop doing that, Kuma." His bear gave him an innocent look as he pawed at Matthew's legs. "Don't look at me like that. You know exactly what I mean." Kuma gave up and walked off to go sit on the couch and watch whatever was on the television. Moments later, Matthew could hear his mom enter the kitchen, her high heels clacking mercilessly against the linoleum.

"Good morning, pancake." His mom kissed the top of his head.

"Mom, again, just because-"

"you eat pancakes all the time doesn't mean I can call you pancake. Yes, yes it does. Because I am the mom and you need a cute nickname from your mom. Anyway, I need to leave early today and your father will be home by the time you get home from school today instead of me. I have to go to court and battle once again with that evil man that helped create you." She ruffled his hair before kissing it again, saying her goodbyes and walking out the door.

"Also," she popped her head back in again, "I saw Gilbert on the couch already. Nice try." and with that, she was gone.

Gilbert came stumbling down the stairs.

"She saw me and she pretended she didn't! She called me an, and I quote, "So much rubbish under this bed. It really isn't awesome. Especially that _giant white freak _right there. Better have Matt clean his room."

"She did tell me she saw you this morning. That's probably how she knew to look for you there." Matthew sighed.

"She seriously needs to lay off." Gilbert crossed his arms and sat on the counter.

"Well, had you not been caught looking up porn on my computer when we were eight, maybe you'd be allowed over more often." Matthew smiled at the memory.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that that wasn't okay?" He raised his hands in his defense.

"Um, where's the plate you brought upstairs with you?"

"Probably still upstairs, but that doesn't matter 'cause we have to head out for school~!" Gilbert grabbed Matthew's arm and pulled him out the door.

"Why are you so excited?" Matthew mumbled under his breath.

"What'd you say?" Gilbert looked back at his friend.

"Oh, nothing."

**X~x~X**

Back at the house, Kumajiro relaxed back into the couch. Today was the day he was going to become human and take Matthew from that Gilbert guy once and for all. He just had to wait for Tony to come over with his machinery and stuff.

"Hey, Kumajiro." Kumajiro looked over as Gilbird landed next to him. "What'cha gonna do today?" Kumajiro debated telling his friend what he was going to do or just kicking her out so he could go back to sleep. He knew that if he told her, she'd want to do it, but she wasn't prepared, unlike himself. He had been studying how to be human for quite some time now.

"I'm going to become human today." He told her. She began to laugh at him so he flicked her off the couch with an angry growl. "What? You don't believe me?" She flew right back on up to the couch and gave him an angry glare, her feathers puffed up. "You look like a feather duster like that." he deadpanned.

"Matthew is never gonna love you back with that kind of attitude." She said before leaving the house. Kumajiro was taken aback. He had never told her how he felt about Matthew or why he was changing.

"Whatever, annoying ass bird." he growled to himself. "She doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm fucking adorable, just wait and see." Just then the doorbell rang and he practically flew to the door and let Tony in.

"Hey, Kuma. How are you?" Tony greeted, carrying a small box.

"Great now that you're here." Tony laughed his little alien laugh.

"Excited, aren't'cha." He took Kuma to the backyard, set the box down and pressed a button on the side. The box began to unfold like it would in a cheesy movie and a little laser thing appeared.

"Okay, so this is gonna hurt quite a bit since your entire structure and body is changing, you still want to do it?" Kumajiro nodded. "Alright, my insane fuzzy friend. Let's do this." Tony aimed the structure in Kumajiro's direction and several needles emerged from the tip before they shot out and penetrated the bear's fur and skin. Tony scrolled through some selections before stopping on humanoid and pressed a purple button that said jkdshbcfjkgnkdv (go) and ran over to warn Kumajiro of the intense pain he's about to feel and put a sock in his mouth to bite into. He went back over to the machine just as it began to send jolts of electricity and a strange liquid into the bear. Kumajiro at first was shocked by the pain that coursed through him and could only stiffen before his bit into the sock and cried out into it. He didn't even notice the dome that the alien had put over them to keep from anyone seeing or hearing them, Tony just didn't like to hear his friends hurt.

**X~x~X**

Matthew sat at his desk during the last hour of the day, scribbling on his paper. He had finished the assignment early and now needed something to do considering the fact that he had no friends in this class. He glanced up at the clock, saw he only had five minutes left, scribbled on his paper, looked at the clock, still only five minutes left, scribbled on his paper, glanced up at the clock, only fi- four minutes left. He sighed, breaking his pathetic routine, and packed up his stuff, ready and eager to go. He stared blankly ahead and had a sudden thought; if he goes into awkward invisible mode, no one will notice him leave! He stood up, walked over to the conveniently open door, and slipped through, not once being seen. He made it halfway to his locker when the bell rang and he could hopefully slip into visible mode and not be trampled.

Luck was on his side today for he made it not only to his locker, but to his car and out of the student parking lot without even being so much as touched. As he drove home he couldn't help be in a good mood and tap his fingers on the steering wheel as a song played and he hummed along. When he arrived home, he saw his father's car in the garage and parked next to it. He practically skipped into the house, up the stairs and landed right on his fluffy bed where a random man was lying as well.

…

Wait a minute.

Matthew shot up out of the bed and almost screamed, but he was too scared to scream. Instead he flew and curled into a ball in the farthest corner of his room. The stranger began to stir and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Mm... Matthew?" He stretched and looked around the room, eyes landing on the owner of the room/bed. "Matthew!" this stranger knew his name! Matthew quickly tuck-and-rolled as the pale stranger launched himself at Matthew. "Matthew~" he whined. He stared Matthew down before he had a look of realization cross his face. "Don't you recognize me?" He stood up and stretched his arms out on either sides and smiled. Matthew looked him up and down. Hmm, thin, pale, black eyes, tall, white hair.

"N-no, sorry." He apologized, rubbing the back of his head. Suddenly the tall man was on top of him.

"It's me, Kumajiro!" He tried to say as Matthew very nearly fainted. "Hey, don't pass out on me now, stupid human." he grumbled.

"Y-y-you're not Kuma! Kuma is a-a-a bear!" Matthew stuttered, realizing their position. Kumajiro sat up, now straddling Matthew.

"I was a bear, but then I asked Tony if he could help me and he said sure and turned me into a human. I even studied how to be a human so that, well, we could be together!" He smiled brightly and Matthew simply stared up at him puzzled.

"What do you mean "so we can be together"? We already are together, aren't we?" Matthew asked, sitting up.

"No, not the way I want." Kumajiro cupped Matthew's face. "I want us to be, hmm, what was the human term... dating!" Kumajiro said and kissed Matthew full on the lips.

Now, Matthew had just been full-on kissed by his once polar bear, now human pet, the only reasonable thing to do was faint. Obviously. Kumajiro was taken by surprise when his human fainted on him like that. He simply smiled, patted his head, and put him in the bed before crawling up next to him. He brushed a piece of hair out of his face and smiled.

"I did this for you, Matthew. You better enjoy it." He whispered to him before snuggling into his side and falling asleep.

**X~x~X**

Now, you may be wondering about Matthew's father and what he was doing this entire time. Well, he had helped fund this little project (not because he knew Kumajiro's real intentions) but because Kumajiro came to him with a piece of paper asking to be turned human because he was a freak of nature bear that never grew anyways, so he didn't question when he heard Matthew making all that commotion upstairs and simply sipped his tea while reading the paper out on the veranda like a boss.

**X~x~X**

Back to Matthew.

Dear, dear Matthew awoke from his nap, thinking about that crazy dream that Kumajori had turned into this beautiful human that had kissed him. Oh ho, ho~ such a silly-

Matthew rolled over and went pale, because he found a pale, beautiful man with thick, black eyelashes, sleeping softly beside him.

…

Well, damn. Guess Matthew was stuck with a polar bear now turned human Kumajahiro who had his eyes on him. He sighed and Kumajiro's nose wiggled a little as a smile broke out on his face and his eyes fluttered open.

"Good evening." He mumbled. Matthew could only swallow and nod in return. "So, will you date me?" Matthew shook his head and Kumajiro's face fell, but it quickly brightened again and he smiled. "Don't worry, one day you'll say yes." and he leaned in to kiss Matthew again, only Gilbert chose that moment to barge in.

"Mattie~" Gilbert launched himself and landed right on top of Matthew and Kumajiro. "Woah~ did I barge in on something?" Gilbert hiss/laughed and forced himself in between the two.

"G-Gilbert!" Matthew remembered Gilbert's and Kumafuji's last encounter and quickly grabbed his friend and flipped him to the other side and moved in between the two. "No, you didn't walk in on anything."

"Then what was with the spastic flip just now?" Gilbert wiggled his eyebrows in an awesome fashion and sat up to look over him at the stranger. "Hello, good sir. I am Matthew's best friend, and who might you be?" Matthew rolled over and saw Kumajiro smile and salute him.

"I'm Matthew's old best friend, from when we were in preschool. My name is Nanuq Siku and I hail from the upper regions of Canada."

"Oh crap." Matthew mumbled under his breath, ready to kill himself any minute now as the lies began to pile.

"Preschool, huh? That's pretty awesome." Matthew tried to bury himself in the blankets and keep out of this. "You never told me you had a best friend before me, Mattie." Gilbert accused him.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-well, um, y-you see..." he brought the blankets up to his eyes and hid from the two albinos ganging up on him.

"Mattie!" Kumajiro mimicked Gilbert's nickname for him. "You never talked about me to your _new _best friend? And here I thought you missed me." He glared at the two, one trying to play a guilt trip born from lies and the other was being just plain old mean. So Matthew chose flight over fight and shimmied down his bed and out the door.

That left the two smiling at the other, Kum- I mean _Nanuq_ pretending he didn't hate this guy for constantly hitting on Matthew and Gilbert pretended that he didn't hate this guy for getting cuddly with Mattie while he was away.

Meanwhile, Matthew was locking himself in the bathroom and trying to remember how to breathe like a normal person. Seriously, why was his life so complicated. He nearly jumped out of his skin as he slid down his door to sit on the floor and his phone started buzzing in his pocket.

"H-hello?"

"Mattie!" He held the phone away from his ear as Gilbert's voice screeched through it. "I don't like this guy, I think he's out to kill you or something." Matthew's phone started to beep a couple of times signaling a call in waiting.

"Hold on, someone's calling me." Oddly enough it was himself. "Kuma-"

"My name is Nanuq. I will no longer be referred to with my bear name." He interrupted Matthew. "Anyway, I don't like this guy Matthew. I never have and you know that. Now, can I please tear his throat out?"  
>"No, that isn't human." He sighed. "I'm going to hang up now." and he did as he said so that he could go back to Gilbert's call and do the same. He threw his phone over and into the tub before pulling his knees up to his chest. This was too much. Waaaaay too much for him to handle in one day, even if it was just his polar bear turning into a human that wanted to date him and quite possibly do other things with him.<p>

…

Okay, maybe it was a day worthy of a mental breakdown.

So that's what he did, he cried... Okay not really, but he did cry on the inside. He sat on his floor and just thought and-

_Mrrrrr~_

and-

_Mrrrr~_

and-

_Mrrrr~_

Goddamn it, Matthew was going to kill that stupid phone.

Matthew sighed and went over to his phone, answered the texts (_Yes i'm safe, im in the bathroom, now isn'y the time al_) and shut it off. Now what was going to happen to him and his life?  
>How would he explain the random guy to his parents?<p>

Oh dear maple... his parents! Matthew's face paled and felt like he was going to be sick.

**X~x~X~OutsideLeDoor**

Kumajiro listened to Matthew through the door, head pressed up against it tightly as Gilbert tried to peer through the keyhole.

"See anything?" Kumajiro asked quietly.

"Nuh-uh. Hear anything?" Kumajiro said a quiet no. "Well, shit. Mattie must be having a break down or something." He stood up straight, his back grateful it was no longer being strained.

"I don't get it. I thought that if I... came here, Matthew would be happy." Kumajiro's mood fell and he felt sadness and for some reason his heart was hurting unbearably (no pun intended) so he sighed and walked away to go bury himself in a cocoon of sheets and pillows and leave Gilbert to tend to Matthew because that's who he apparently wanted anyway.

Well, that's what he told himself he was going to do, he actually ended up going into the room, building an entire fort using his opposable thumbs and thought up strategies on how to make Matt fall in love with this new human form.

**~BackInDaBathroom~**

Matthew had worried himself to sleep in the tub but was awoken to pounding on the door, his mother demanding she be let in and that he explain why he was locked in the bathroom in the first place.

"C-coming, maman." he said sleepily, adjusting his glasses so that they stayed on his face.

"Matthew, what have I told you about Gilbert coming over?" She began to scold him as soon as he opened the door.

"Th-"

"Exactly, now, if I ever catch him here again, I'll have a restraining order placed on him." And with that, she walked off to find her adoring husband. Matthew promptly turned his phone on, waited for the flood of messages, ignored them, then warned Gilbert about his mom.

He wandered back to his room and crawled into bed.

Well, he would have had his mattress and sheets not been stolen in favour of being turned into a fort for his immature bear... human... friend.

"Kuma~ can I please have my bed back?" He whined, ready to collapse into sleep any second now.

"No, and remember, my name isn't Kumajiro anymore." He popped his head out from under a part of the fort. "Now, come join me, _Mattie~" _he teased before disappearing again.

"As long as I just get a pillow and somewhere to sleep." He mumbled, crawling on all fours into the tent.

Inside was actually pretty impressive. There was one lone lamp thing in the center with blue paper around it and little holes poked through it, turning the inside a pale blue. Off to the side was indeed pillows and some light blankets and thin snowflakes cut out and hanging lightly by silver thread fell from the top of the tent. Matthew could only gaze up in amazement.

"Kuma- I-I mean, Nanick, you did all this?" Matthew looked at his smiling friend.

"First of all, it's Nan_uq_ and secondly, do you really like it? I tried to make it look like it was snowing inside and I really like the color blue and I also know you really like the color blue." Kumajiro watched, pleased as Matthew's mouth twitched a bit before forming a full smile.

"It really is beautiful." he said, as he moved to lay down on a pillow. "I still can't believe you did this all yourself... Nanuk."

"... Close enough." Kumajiro sighed and laid down next to his previous owner. "Hey, Matthew?"

"Yes, Kumajori?"

"I'm Nanuq now, anyway, I have a question." Matthew rolled on to his side to look at Kumajiro.

"So do I. Why do _I _have to call you Nanookie?" He whined, curling around his pillow.

"It's Nanuq (Goddamn it) and because I'm human now and require a human name. But back to my question, why won't you return my love?" Matthew's eyes flew open and he may have panicked a little.

"W-well, I d-do... love you, Kuma. It's just that, well, I don't l-love you the way you love me." In a flash, Kumajiro was on top of Matthew, hands pinned on either side.

"But _why~_? Is it because you love that detestable German instead?" His voice and eyes were so serious, Matthew had to bite his lip in order to keep the giggles in. Seriously, this entire thing was so cheesy.

"No, _Kumajiro_, I do not love Gilbert. And to answer your question, I've only ever seen you as a pet, a polar bear. You can't turn into a human and just expect me to like you like _that_." He pulled his bear down and hugged him tightly. "But I'll always love you in a friendly way." Kumajiro pulled away and sat on the other side of the tent.

"Then I guess I better get you used to this body instead." He smirked at Matthew who sat up and a deep blush filled his cheeks.

**Phew! DONE with chapter ONE! Seriously, this is the most I've ever written for one chapter and yet it's nothing compared to some of the fics I've read xD**

**Anyway, now that some random things have been set (like, oh maybe that Kumajiro/Nanuq is hell bent on making Matthew love him), I can set more random things and by chapter three, the subplots will begin to invade and after chapter five, the chapters may begin to shorten because the main plot will have been completed and hell, maybe I'll just start a new one-shot series to go along with this story once it's complete.**

…

**Still can't believe I manged to finish this chapter.**

**Love,**

**Happiness**


	2. M is for Manly

**Update the next day! Don't expect this to happen ever again xD**

**THANK YOU WONDERFUL REVIEWERS AND FAVORITERS AND ALERTERS~**

**YOU PUT SMILE ON MY FACE**

**So I'm still recovering from the shock of actually finishing such a long chapter and didn't start on this one until it hit me: I FINISHED A 4,500 SOME WORD CHAPTER~**

**Then this one came about about 1,000 words more than that one.**

**Practically died of a happiness heart attack xD**

**The only thing that managed to somewhat kill it is having to use text lingo (which I'm a total fail at 'cause it sooo eats away at my soul)**

**Anyway, I changed my mind about the whole Matthew forcing Kumajiro to let him call Kumajiro thing to this chapter because I was like "(OAO) Chapter three be so damn FAR AWAY!" and it seems to easily play into where I left off with the last chapter. But, it just won't go "Yo, Imma call you Kumajiro no matta wut!" "Okay (*v*)" No, I gotta play with it a bit cause playing is fun `(OvO `)**

**(PLEASE, MATTHEW, HURRY AND GET HIS NAME RIGHT SO I CAN WRITE "KUMAJIRO" MORE OFTEN!)**

**Let's roll! **

**p.s just as a warning, my itunes was really depressed while I wrote this so, yeah, prepare for some probably light angst towards the bottom.**

**Night13: I see you have disabled your PMs. That makes replying to your review very hard. So here: Wouldn't that just be a _dream_? Thanks, bro.**

It had been about week since the little tent incident (which they hadn't taken down yet, it was simply too cool) and Kumajiro was trying to push that stupid name on Matthew still and he was also trying to pretty much play house with him; Kumajiro being the husband, and Matthew as the wife.

"So, Kumajyro-"

"Matthew, I would appreciate it if you would use my _human_ name." Kumajiro scolded him once again one Saturday morning as he fried up fish (he had learned ho to cook it himself so that way while Matt was at school he wouldn't starve) and some pancakes and hash browns.

"No, I will not call you by that name because it is not the name I gave you and it's stupid." Matthew simply said, his more aggressive side starting to show. He was getting sick of Kumajiro acting so stuck up with that stupid name.

"Fine." Kumajiro smirked and set the ladle down. "But only if you get it right and I get a kiss." Matthew really shouldn't have been surprised by this, but, alas, he was.

"K-Kuma-"

"_Na-nuq._" He sat in Matthew's lap. "So, what's it gonna be?"

"You sneaky little... human." But Matthew quickly pecked his friend on the lips and scavenged his mind for the right answer, desperate for the right answer. He inhaled deeply and Kumajiro was practically jumping up and down with pure bliss. "Kuma... jir...y." The second that Kumajiro's face fell, so did Matthew's for he knew he had lost.  
>"Looks like it's still Nanuq. At least I got a free kiss out of it." Nanuq chuckled to himself and went back to cooking.<p>

"Um, Kuma-"

"Deals a deal. Call me Nanuq."

"Fine, _Nanuq_, do you realize you look very, uh, feminine wearing that frilly apron?" Matthew asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I find it makes me look quite appealing. Not that I wasn't already, onhonhonhon~" Matthew was beginning to regret letting Francis bear-sit Kumajiro when they were younger and Matthew had his hockey matches.

"Whatever, anyway, I was wondering if I could try again." Matthew was preparing his nerves for that damn sacrifice again as Kumajiro flipped the fish.

"Nope." Wait, what? "Only one try per day. As much as I'd like to steal another kiss from you, it's fun watching you get flustered just because you can't call me by my real name." He teased and Matthew simply turned pink and began to beat his head against the table. "Matthew, I demand you cease that at once for your pancakes are complete." Matthew thankfully stopped and instead ate his emotions (seriously, how was the kid not the size of the planet?).

Kumajiro sat down and ate his salmon much slower, watching the angry human scarf down pancake after pancake. The only thing that really sickened Nanuq was how much syrup he consumed. After he finished, he took the plates to the sink and Nanuq followed him with his own, still wearing that stupid frilly apron.

"Thank you, Ku- Nanuq." Matthew reached for the plate and didn't see it coming when Nanuq leaned over and licked his cheek.

"Goodness, Pancake, you have syrup everywhere!" he teased using his mother's nickname for him before skipping off. Matthew, on the other hand, was not feeling in the least bit giddy. He felt like his face was going to explode and quickly made his way to the shower to clean himself up. Of course when he went into his room, he found Nanuq setting up a little flag outside of the tent, it had the Canadian flag in the background with pictures of Matthew and Nanuq drawn on it rather messily.

"Do you like it?" If Nanuq had been born a dog, Matthew had a feeling his ears and tail would never stop wagging.

"Yes, it's very original and creative." Matthew replied, searching for clean clothes.

"When you are done cleansing yourself, we must discuss something quite important." Nanuq said, hands on his hips.

"Alright. Sounds like a plan." Matthew pulled out his phone and saw that Gilbert had texted him, asking if he wanted to hang out.

_Cnt 2day. Already made plans w/Nanuq. Srry_

_**whateva I c how it is. Ditching ur best friend 4 sum guy who rdmly shows up ur door**_

_I told u hes my friend from a loooooong time ago_

At this, Gilbert quit texting him. Matthew sighed as he stripped down and got in the excessively warm shower. He really shouldn't be practically trading Gilbert for Kumajiro like he may have been recently, but, y'know, he couldn't really help it.

Actually, now that he thought about it, he could. He could let Nanuq out into the world and let him make his own friends. He was desperate to be human after all. It was decided, that tomorrow he would hang out with Gilbert and force Kumajiro to make new friends so that his social life would return to normal.

Matthew stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped tightly around his waist. He held his glasses in his hand, waiting for the fog on them to clear up. He walked down the hall to his bedroom where he knew Kumajiro was going to be. He peered into his room and could hear Kumajiro shuffling around in the tent so he booked it for he dresser, whipped out a pair of boxers (because he's manly) and quickly shoved them on. After he had at least accomplished that, he was able to look through his drawers for clothing to wear. Well, as usual, his mission became impossible due to the fact that a finger had hooked onto the hem on the back of his boxers and had slowly began to slide down.

"Matthew~" Kumajiro, purred. Matthew yelped and pulled up his underwear.

"Naquack! What are you thinking? I need these." Matthew grabbed a random pair of pants and quickly forced them on. Unfortunately, when you try to do something like that that quickly, you tend to fall on your ass and then your lusty friend decides to crawl into your lap.

"Matthew, I want to play in the rain. I want to experience the cold droplets on my skin." Kumajiro's eyes were half lidded and... was he trying to _seduce _Matthew?

"O-o-okay!" he quickly squirmed backwards and out from under Kumajiro. "When the next thunderstorm comes along, we can go outside and... sit there or something?" He finished pulling his pants up and quickly threw his shirt on before bolting out the door.

Nanuq sighed to himself. Why was Matt so stubborn? Seriously. He stood up at the sound of Matthew's footsteps coming back.

"I'm s-sorry for just running out like that... Nanuq." Matthew had to practically fry his brain just to remember that stupid name.

"That's alright, Matthew. You remembered my name so it's all better." He wiggled his fingers in a rather adorable fashion and Matthew turned and walked away to go find a thermometer. He had to have a fever if he was actually starting to find this human Kumajiro adorable.

In the bathroom, Matthew pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, not unusually warm. Hmm, why was he feeling this way then? He tapped his fingers on the counter when his phone went off.

_**Sup, pancakes?**_

_Not u 2 gil! D:_

_**keseese~ sorry, but I had 2!**_

… _no u dnt! D':_

_**woah now... Ill call you sumthing else... how about Birdie? :)**_

…

_**C'mon matt! I said I was sorry! I even thought up a cute nickname**_

_fine. You can call me birdie if u'd like._

_**Kesese~ I knew ud giveinto my charms, bidrie**_

_Bidrie?_

_**Birdie***_

_hahaa, alrighht. Oh ya, what are u doin 2mrw?_

_**Nothing, why? Wanna hang out, Birdie?;)**_

_actually, ya. _

_**REALLY? What about that OTHER guy? :|**_

_not sure. Maybe he can mak new friends?_

_**Like who?**_

_.. AL! :D_

Matthew exited that conversation and texted his brother who unfortunately lived with his biological father.

_Al, can you do me a favor?_

_**Sure, wassup pancakes?**_

_/ignores the pancakes statement I have a friend that wants to learn how to be a hero and I figured ur the perfect guy to teach him :D_

_**OMGSHJHDSJCGBXJKDGS MATTIE YOU FOUND ME N APPRENTICE? :**_

_Yeah, sure, can u watch him, oh, say, 2mro?_

_**I'm Jeff Ubetcha! **_

_Lay off the Fairly Odd Parents, eh._

_**NEVA~ it's too heroic**_

_whatever u say_

_**;)**_

_dnt wink at me. _

_**;)**_

_**;)**_

_**;)**_

_**;)**_

_**;)**_

_**;)**_

Matthew went back to the other conversation and ignored every stupid emoticon he got.

_**Alfred sounds perfekt**_

_**Matt?**_

_**Birdie?**_

_**OHGAWDHEATEYOU!**_

_**BIRDIE! DON'T WORRY! I"M COMING TO SAVE YOU**_

_**CAUSE I'M AWESOME**_

_**SO DON'T**_

_**I REPEAT**_

_**DO NOT CALL THAT STUPID BROTHER OF YOURS TO SAVE YOU**_

… _Do you not remember that my mother had threatened to put a restraining order on you if you ever return?_

… _**fml. What if one day you actully need me? Then what?**_

_Then I suppose it would be OK 4 u to cum here_

… _**LO-FUCKING-L BIRDIE**_

_**u**_

_**so totally**_

_**said**_

_**CUM!**_

_****_

… _the people I associate myself with (=_=")_

_**u KNOW u love me ;)**_

_oh yeah.. the whole je t'aime and all that jizz_

_**I knew it (QwQ) Ich liebe dich, birdie**_

Matthew decided then was a good time to let him go. Mainly because he wasn't completely sure how to respond. He pressed his forehead against the mirror, happy for the cool against his skin, hoping to quell his light blush. He opened his eyes slowly as if he were in a dramatic movie. Why did Gilbert have to be such a tease? Matthew finally finds himself crushing on someone after three years of high school and it ends up being his only true friend (well, I suppose it kind of makes sense). He swallowed, just thinking about Gilbert made his stomach feel all flippy and warm. He smiled to himself as he thought about his friend. He unconsciously held the phone in his hand a little tighter, loving but hating the warm feeling spreading all throughout his body. He had the sudden urge to call him up and tell him he loved him but knew that would so fuck up everything, even if Gilbert teased him almost constantly.

"Matthew." He looked up at Kumajiro in the doorway.

"Yeah?" He stood up straight again, embarrassed to be caught while thinking such private things.

"Well, I was thinking that you could try again. With guessing my name again." He put his hands behind his back and swayed back and forth, seeing if Matthew would take the bait. Matthew surprisingly turned to him, a determined smile on his face.

"No, you'd laid down the rules and I'm determined to follow them." This would have seemed more cool if it hadn't all been whispered. Kumajiro simply shrugged and walked away.

And thus began **Operation: Remember That Stupid Nanuq's Real Name**.

**\(^v^)/**

**Day 1: Kuma-**

It was breakfast time, Matthew had decided this would be the time he would guess Nanuq's real name because he was half asleep and could make stupid decisions easier.

"You ready to guess?" Nanuq was wearing that stupid apron again as he made French toast and bacon (Canadian style, bitch "In other words, ham?").

"Y-yeah." Matthew sat up straight and waited for Kumajiro to come steal a kiss. Nanuq frowned at him.

"You look too serious. Could you loosen up a bit and actually pretend you enjoy me kissing you?" He rubbed a temple and placed the other hand on his hip.

"Al-alright." Matthew relaxed and smiled a bit. "Better?" he was answered with a gentle peck on the lips. "Okay, I'm gonna say... Kumajoey!" Nanuq couldn't help but chuckle at Matthew's face. He seemed so sure. He pinched one of Matt's cheeks.

"Not quite, cher." He let go and went back to making breakfast, singing a song he must have heard on the radio.

Matthew sighed to himself and put his head on the table, wishing he could just die when the doorbell rang and one loudmouthed Americanadian (was born in America but his dear mum was Canadian and he was raised in Canada).

"Im here! Where's the hero to be?" He came into the kitchen and sat down, looking at Matthew. "Hey, sup, bro? Is that him?" Matthew looked at Nanuq.

"Nanuq, this is my brother Alfred." Nanuq waved with a spatula, already knowing who he was from the constant visits. "He's the guy who I told you about. The one who is going to teach you how to be a hero."

"Mattie! You don't sound happy about that at all! Is it because you're worried I'll go to hard on him? Don't worry, I'll be gentle at first. LOL IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M GONNA MOLEST HIM!"

"Nanuq, I hope you can overcome his obnoxiousness. He really is a good guy at heart." Matthew said as Nanuq handed him his plate of breakfast foods. He simply grunted in reply.

Matthew checked the time on the oven beside Nanuq, which his brother took as him checking the other boy out and stored it later for evil purposes. Matthew had to meet Gilbert in three minutes so he quickly shoved his food down his throat, practically killing himself in the process, before rushing out the door, calling out apologies and good-byes.

Once he had slammed the door shut (on accident in his excitement), Alfred leaned back in his chair and Nanuq took a seat across from him.

"So, Nanuq, what do you want to learn?" Alfred smiled at him.

"How to make Matthew fall in love with me."

**\(^v^)/**

Matthew reached the park, panting but just as Gilbert pulled into the parking lot.

"Hey, Birdie, wanna get some ice cream? I know this awesome place where they sell jizz worthy ice cream." He called, leaning half his body out of the car. Matthew nodded, too tired to speak.

"Ice cream sounds great. Especially when it seems like we're God's personal brownies being baked." Gilbert laughed, opening the door for Matthew. "But seriously, why is so hot today? I didn't think it could ever get this hot out here?" Matthew complained. He hated the heat and would much rather be in a blizzard right now.

"You're so awesome, you know that, Birdie?" Gilbert complimented the shy boy who, as he had hoped, turned a cute shade of pink.

"G-Gilbert," Matthew looked at his friend from the corner of his eye.

"Ja, Birdie?" That nickname was just so cute and fun to say.

"I'm not paying for both our ice creams." Gilbert laughed, not expecting that at all (okay, kind of expecting it.

**\(^v^)/**

"Wh-what?" Alfred sat up correctly in his chair at the stranger's request.

"Teach me how to make Matthew fall in love with me, please." he added the manners to the end this time, hoping to make him more willing. "He is your brother after all. And I haven't seen him since we were very young so I don't know how to go about, uhm, "woo-ing" him."

Alfred felt very wise all of a sudden and Alfred feeling wise was not a safe thing.

"I see, I see." He rubbed his invisible 'stache. "So you are also in love with my brother?"

"Wh-what do you mean also?" Nanuq hadn't expected for there to be competition.

"Of course! My brother is quite adorable and there are a lot of people I know who like adorable things." Alfred pulled a hamburger out of his pocket and Nanuq had to use all self control not to vomit everywhere when he took a bite out of it.

"Well, who is it and how do I get rid of them?" Nanuq was completely focused in on the conversation now.

"I suppose this other albino guy is your main target. I can help you get rid of him because, trust me, I hate the guy, too." Alfred reassured him. "Here's our plan of action." the two leaned towards each other all awesome and great like.

"And then I just... kiss him?" Nanuq leaned back. Man, he had totally forgotten how much of an idiot this guy could be.

"Yeah!"

"And you're sure it will work?" Nanuq crossed his arms and leaned back into his chair.

"You have a hero's promise." he placed his hand over his heart. "Besides, who could possibly know Mattie better than me?" Nanuq thought about it before sighing.

"I suppose you're right. Okay, so, when will the two return?" Nanuq glanced at the clock and noticed it had only been about an hour that Matthew had left.

"Soon, their outings usually only last about an hour, maybe an hour and fifteen minutes."

"You sound like a stalker." Alfred shrugged his shoulders.

"I told you, I hate that guy so I worry about Matt and sometimes I feel like an over protective father when I watch the clock." The two laughed at the mental image of Alfred in a rocking chair, toothpick in between his lips and shotgun in his hands. _This guy is so much more tolerable when I'm a human._ Nanuq thought to himself, enjoying the friendly atmosphere.

"Hey, tonight, I planned on going out with a couple friends to a club, you and Mattie should come. I'm sure you'd like my friends, though they aren't exactly the most normal of crowds to be in." Alfred flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs up as a car pulled into the driveway. "Ooh~ let's go watch and make sure he doesn't kiss Matthew!" Alfred stood, excited, and Nanuq followed, his heart pounding at the thought of anyone else kissing those lips.

**\(^v^)/**

Gilbert pulled into Matthew's gravel driveway to drop the kid off, content with the day they had. Now just to add the icing to the cake.

"Thanks for the ride home, Gil." Matthew smiled as he opened the door. "Also, thanks for paying for my ice cream. I'll make sure I pay you back by the end of the week." Gilbert had had to cover for Matthew because he left his wallet at home, not expecting to have to buy ice cream.

"Yeah, no problem. Hey, Matt, c'mere." Matthew stuck his head back in the car as Gilbert unbuckled himself and leaned into the passenger seat. Matthew's heart felt like it was beating a thousand beats per second as he reached up, placed his hand on the back of his neck, pulled their faces closer and-

"MATTHEW~!" had the moment so ruined by one, loudmouthed Alfred and one glomping Kumajiro. Matthew screamed out in surprise as he was pulled away from the car, not far but still out of it, and held protectively to Nanuq's chest.

"Thanks for giving Big Bro a ride home. See ya, Gilbert!" Alfred saluted and slammed the door shut. Gilbert glared through the window at him and looked over to wave good-bye to Matthew but instead was met with glaring pitch black eyes that clearly read "GTFO or I'll slit your throat" which of course, Gilbert returned the glare with a smirk that clearly read "Challenge accepted." and began to back out of the driveway, planning to text Matthew later to flirt with him some more and hopefully plan a get away tonight.

"Matthew! I was so worried about you! I had no idea where you had run off to!" Now Matthew was being suffocated by Alfred. He tried to escape but when he did, he ended up back in Kumajiro's arms.

"Oh, Matthew~ we were so worried!" he said as he nuzzled his head. "Weren't we, Alfred?"

"Indeed! So, to make it up to us, you're coming with us to a club tonight. Meet me at my place around ten. See ya!" Alfred left, waving good-bye and only received one wave good-bye in return from Nanuq.

Kumajiro and Matthew were left in a relatively awkward silence, Kuma still holding Matthew in his arms, squeezing ever so tightly, until Kumajiro sighed and rested his head on Matthew's shoulder.

"Na-Nanuq? Are you alright?" he shook his head. They still had an entire day together, considering it was just barely turning eleven. Matthew turned around and backed up a bit and placed his hand on Nanuq's forehead.

"Hmm, you don't seem to have a fever..." Matthew thought for a second, his tongue dipping out of his mouth and to the side the tiniest bit. Nanuq wanted to desperately capture that tongue with his own amongst other things, but his heart was aching too much.

His heart. The reason he was like this in the first place.

He pulled away from Matthew and bolted inside and up the stairs, bewildering the poor blond, and hid in the tent. He crawled under the covers and tried to smother himself with the pillows. Tears burning at the edges of his eyes. Damn, why couldn't he control these stupid human emotions better? He supposed he may as well let the pillow soak up his tears.

He sat alone for maybe five minutes before he heard Matthew coming up the stairs and into the tent.

"Nanuq?" Matthew went to remove the pillow but Kumajiro held tight.

"Go away, Matthew." came a muffled growl. "Stupid human." he added just 'cause.

"Nanuq, I want my cell phone back." Matthew said. He had noticed that Nanuq had hijacked it before running up the stairs.

"Too bad, I ate it." he replied. Matthew sighed and laid down on the pillow next to his friend.

"Nanuq, please can I have my phone back?"

"No."

"Why not?" When Kumajiro replied that time, Matthew couldn't understand him. "What? I didn't catch that." Kumajiro lifted the pillow up just enough so that his mouth was uncovered.

"Because it's your connection to _him_." Matthew took that chance to tear the pillow off. He was shocked to see Kumajiro's eyes red and puffy and his cheeks wet. Kumajiro was shocked that the pillow had been torn from his face and quickly shut his eyes and rolled over.

"Were you crying?" He tried to look at Kumajiro but he rolled over so that his face was in his own pillow.

"Fuck off, Matthew." Matthew was taken aback by this. Usually the guy is trying to make Matthew come closer to him, not push him away. When Kumajiro rolled over a bit and still saw Matthew there, he glared at him, tears renewed.

"Get out, Matthew." He said once again, this time his voice weaker and more forced sounding. Matthew could tell he was on the verge of a break down so he respected his friend's wishes and left.

Kumajiro listened to the lock click shut before letting it all out, anger and sadness planting themselves deep in his stomach and making him feel sick. The worst part was he had set himself up so that Matthew would argue and force him to let him stay. Let him stay and comfort him.

Maybe becoming a human wasn't such a good idea. They had far too many fucking emotions and they were all too hard to control.

Matthew went back upstairs around 12:45 with a plate of freshly cooked rainbow trout. He opened his door and walked over to the tent. Peering inside, he discovered Kumajiro sleeping, curled in a fetal position and mumbling in his sleep. Upon closer inspection, Matthew could still see the trails of tears and a pillow that was thrown off to the side was soaked in one spot. Matthew felt terrible and unsure on how to fix this let alone what the problem was. He set the plate down and covered his friend before turning the lamp off, picking up the plate, and exiting.

Once downstairs, he put the fish in the fridge after covering it. The house was silent save for the sound of the television in the other room. Matthew didn't like it at all. It felt too melancholy to be his home where there was usually laughter or singing or just talking in general. He wished he could talk to Gilbert about it, but his phone was still being held hostage by Kumajiro.

He sighed, feeling a little bit lonely without the constant noise, and who knows when Kuma was going to wake up. All he knew was that around ten, he would be surrounded by noise. Something better than noise; music, bass, people who just want to let go. He could feel relieved that he would become one of those people tonight. It felt like that was one of the few places where he was seen. Everyone was seen at places like that.

So he decided it wouldn't hurt to start going through his clothes to see what he had to wear to the club. Knowing Al, it was gonna end up more like a rave than anything. He picked through his closet, trying to find something suitable. The most he found were a pair of black skinny jeans (that he knew he'd die in if he wore them) and a t-shirt with some band on it. Looks like that's what he was stuck in. He placed his outfit on his bed when Kumajiro came crawling out of the tent. He looked up sleepily at Matthew and just stared for a moment before going backwards and back into the tent. Matthew rolled his eyes as he watched the blue light turn on, go from blue to pale then to red? What?

Matthew walked over and tried to peek into the tent, but was stopped when Kumajiro's head came out and the two hit heads pretty hard.

"Ow~" Kumajiro rubbed his forehead and looked up at Matthew angrily. "I'm kicking you out of the tent for tonight." he said before taking the flag from outside and bringing in. Matthew listened as he heard a lock click open, a door shut, close, then lock again.

D-did he have a safe or something in there?

"S-so are you still going to the club with Al and I tonight?" Matthew tried. There was silence for a moment before a piece of paper came flying out in the shape of a paper plane.

_Yes _was scribbled on it. Looks like Matthew was getting the silent treatment. He sighed and crumpled the plane up and threw it away.

**InsideLeTent**

Kumajiro threw the stupid little flag into the safe he had in there along with that stupid phone with that stupid Gilbert's number in it and locked it. He liked the way the red glowed in the tent, it fit his mood better than the light blue.

"S-so are you still going to the club with Al and I tonight?" He heard Matthew ask him. He reached over for the notebook and pen he had and jotted down "yes" before tearing out the paper and making a plane and throwing it out the tent. He heard Matt sigh and throw his note away. He looked over at the clock in the tent and saw it was barely turning two. Eight more hours before he was able to go hang out with Alfred and company and clear his mind.

He pulled out Matthew's iPod that he had modified for his own personal usage. If there's anything he learned about being a human is that sometimes, music is all you've got to be happy. So he turned on a song and took it's advice. He took a couple deep breaths, let his mind clear, and relaxed his entire body. He listened to the entire song before he took out the headphones, let a smile creep on to his face and left the tent. Looking around him, he found Matthew was still in the room, just playing video games on his television with the sound off. His heart beat a little faster at the thought that he did that for him, so as not to disturb him. He crawled out of the tent and on to the bed behind Matthew and wrapped his arms around him.

"Are you winning?" He asked, putting his legs on either side of Matthew, still hugging him.

"No, not really. I keep dying at this part." Matthew replied, not even noticing their position.

"Remember when we would sit like this, except I was in your lap and practically just a teddy bear?" Kumajiro suddenly said, mouth next to Matthew's ear. It was then that he realized the position they were in and a blush slowly crept into his face. When he tried to move, Kumajiro held him in his spot.

"Don't move, please." He rested his forehead on the Canadian's back and sighed. "I miss being this close to you, so please just... let me sit like this for awhile." They both grew quiet, and once again, Matthew was uncomfortable because of it.

"Uhm, Nanuq, what are you going to wear to the club?" Anything to break the silence. This seemed to actually perk him up a bit. He jumped up and stripped down to everything but his (actually Matthew's) boxers and ran out into the hallway.

…

Well, you could say Matthew was a little confused.

"This!" He came strutting in wearing a pale blue/green shirt that was form fitting on him, the sleeves came down ¾ the way and the collar was wide and showed off his neck, collar bones, and a majority of his shoulders. He was wearing a loose necklace with a silver dragon on it that came down to about his midriff. For pants he was wearing black skinnies like Matthew's and a pair of black and green Chuck Taylor's were on his feet.

"What d'ya think?" He asked, a smile on his face.

"W-well," Matthew thought he looked great. Really great. "I like it."

"You still aren't allowed in the tent tonight."

**ANGSTANGSTANGST**

**damn you, Imogen Heap and Jason Mraz**

**PER CHE, DIO, PER CHE? I feel like I'm digging myself a really deep hole by making Matt and Gilbert like each other so much but I can't help it! D: Like, I'm not even a huge PruCan fan but whenever I write Matthew I can't help but throw in some and it more or less sucks! Seriously, I write better PruCan when they aren't supposed to be together D: But, have no fear! Matthew is definitely, just, y'know, _very fucking and painfully slowly _falling for Kumajiro. (That was mainly for myself xD)**

**So I had planned on Matthew guessing Kumajiro's name this chapter but it seemed like this one was never going to end so I'll put it in the next one... I hope.**

****headdesk***

**And I decided I'm not going to write the club scene. Too lazy and that would require finding friends for Alfred and more pairings would appear and OH GOD THE SUBPLOTS ARE GOING TO START NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE, OHEY, MATT HAS TO GO BACK TO SCHOOLLLLLL! FFFEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**On a happier note, I so want a tent that awesome.**


	3. N is for Nothing in Particular

**Fuck, this came out so much later then I had wanted it to. I had planned on having it up, like, 3 months ago, but I started driver's ed and time just isn't what it used to be.**

**There used to be at least a paragraphs worth of words here, then I realized how ridiculously long my ANs are getting and got rid of it.**

**A reviewer brought up how this could have easily been angst, nothing but ANGST and DRAMA LLAMAS (which it kind of sort of is becoming /sadface) and yet, I made it hilarious. You people make me so happy.**

**One more thing, Billie-Joe's Barbeque does not exist. I simply created it cause I can (and then I got a new neighbour and her name is Billie-Joe).**

**Not proud of this chapter either...**

Matthew awoke to the annoying buzzer on his alarm clock. He shifted in his place on the floor and found a pillow under his head and a blanket over his body. He didn't think much of it as he put them back in the tent, noticing the flag had been placed back outside.

As he clumsily made his way down the stairs, he could hear the sound of music playing. It sounded like a song from the club last night. The sight that Matthew was forced to see can never be unseen.

"_Just wait a minute, give me a single chance._" Kumajiro had the stupid, form-fitting frilly apron on and was shaking his hips (actually, his entire body). "_Did you see me staring? You caught my eye. Don't turn around, don't walk away. The night is young. Can we get together?_" Matthew pressed a hand to his mouth to stifle a laugh as Kumajiro spun in a circle, stopping dramatically, he continued the song, throwing his hand in the air. "_Meet me in the middle, like I want you to. Gotta find your heart to shoot my arrow through!_" He opened his eyes and found Matthew ready to collapse on the stairs with laughter. Kumajiro put his hands down to his sides swiftly and turned a dangerous shade of red.

"Wh-what were you singing?" Matthew asked, now able to control his humour.

"Nothing, now just... just come over here for your stupid guess and my kiss of the day." Matthew had managed to calm himself, though a smile was still broken out on his face. He stood in front of Kumajiro who leaned down and kissed him. Matthew giggled, conspiring in his mind.

He stuck his pointer finger up, opened his mouth and,

"Natasha Beddingfield." at this he burst into more giggles at his own joke.

"Oh haha, hilarious." Kumajiro crossed his arms and looked off to the side, biting his bottom lip to try to hide his smile, unwilling to let Matt off this easy. "Are you sure you didn't wake and bake?" He turned back around to start breakfast and turn off the ipod stand.

"Uhm, I'm not _Lars, _silly." So, to say that Kumajiro was worried was a bit of an understatement. "Anyway, I have to go back to school today. Will you be alright all day alone? I think Dad is stopping by for lunch." Matthew put two pieces of wheat toast in the toaster and poured himself a glass of milk.

"Alright." Kumajiro flipped a pancake with precision, having practiced at random times of the day almost everyday. "But, I have a question."

"Yeah?" Matthew looked over at his reasonably quiet companion.

"Do you want to try and guess my name again? No kisses or anything." He glanced over his shoulder as Matthew moved to butter his toast.

"Hmm~" he gently hit his chin with the knife before pressing it into the soft dairy bi-product. "Is it Kumajira?"

"Fucking-a! You're so _fucking close_!" Kumajiro was practically screaming through clenched teeth. "Think about it this way. You just used the feminine version of my name." Kumajiro watched as a look of realization crossed Matthew's features (it was flippin' adorable) and laughed. "Now remember that for tomorrow." he said before moving to finish the toast, give it to Matthew and shove him out the door. "Oh yeah! Promise me you won't fall in love with Gilbert while your at school today." He called out, waving goodbye. Matthew gave him a confused look, but didn't bother saying anything as he began his walk to school.

**BOLD**

"WAAAAAAGH~, Ludwig, we can't just let that poor girl walk to school in this weather! We have to stop and give her a ride!" Feliciano wailed, flapping his arms animatedly and practically crawling out the window as he pointed and stared at a cute blond walking to what he assumed would be school.

"Feliciano, would you please-"

"HEYYYY~ HEY, PRETTY LADY!" He started to yell out at her, ignoring and cutting off Ludwig.

"Feliciano, I swear to-"  
>"Hey, Ludwig, I don't think that's a lady." Feliciano said. Suddenly tears formed in his eyes as Ludwig began to pull to the side and get out. "WAIT! WAIT, LUDDY! YOU DON'T KNOW IF THAT MAN IS GOING TO KILL ME! YOU HAVE TO STAY BACK AND PROTECT MEEEEEEEEE~!" He began to sob into the once occupied now empty driver's seat.<p>

Ludwig rubbed his temples as he walked towards the blond.

"Excuse me." He said very politely. The blond looked up and took out his head phones. "Oh, Matthew," he said, taken by surprise. "Why are you walking to school? Don't you have a car? If not then surely Gilbert should have picked you up." he made a mental note to scold him later.

"Oh, Ludwig, you remembered me this time." Matthew smiled at him, pleased, but couldn't help a thought cross his mind. _Is this how Kumajiro feels? _Even his thought-self couldn't stand the idea of calling him Nanuq. Ludwig blushed, remembering the time he started yelling at Matthew to get out or I swear to Gott I'll call the police on you, _Alfred_.

"J-ja, well, either way, could you please get in the car and allow me to give you a lift. Feliciano is with me and he won't stop freaking out until I either prove you're not a serial killer or kill you and I really would prefer to do the first." Matthew laughed at Ludwig's ramblings but not before accepting the ride to school.

"Oh, did you save Matthew, too, Luddy~?" Matthew blinked, wondering why so many people were remembering who he was. Ludwig saw Matthew's confused look and smiled.

"I've trained him to tell you apart from your brother." He said, looking at him via mirror.

"Really? How?" Ludwig chuckled.

"I told him your hair looks more like pasta." Matthew couldn't help but laugh at that. He sure was laughing a lot today. Perhaps it was a good omen.

"Yeah, and you aren't as loud or annoying as your brother!" Feliciano happily informed Matthew as he turned around in his seat.

"Feliciano, please turn around and buckle up. I don't want to be late to school again." Ludwig asked as he pulled away from the curb.

"Aww~ but, Ludwig, last time was your fault! Remember, you wanted to-"

"So!"Matthew suddenly said, not really wanting to hear about that. "How have you two been? Gilbert tells me that Feliciano's grades have improved with your help."

"Ve~ Ludwig really has helped me! Now Big Brother doesn't yell at me for not trying hard enough anymore! He just yells at me for dating Ludwig." He smiled at the last part. Lovino really should lay off the anger issues. Maybe if Antonio would quit staring at Femke and instead at him, he would be less irritable. Or if he knew that Alfred snuck glances every now and again in his direction.

"Oh yeah! Did Gil-Gil tell you the good news?" Feliciano suddenly asked, seeming more excited than usual. "I'm gonna be a cheerleader!" Judging by the size of Ludwig's eyes, this was his first time hearing such non-sense.

"W-well, uh, congratulations?" Matthew offered an awkward smile at Feli but an apologetic one at Ludwig.

_~ITALICS~_

"Dude, I'm starving." Alfred was leaning on his desk fourth hour Advanced Grammar as Matthew doodled on the edges of the assignment sheet. Once he ran out of room, he flipped it over and continued drawing on the back.

"Relax, we've only got about twenty minutes left." he said, finishing the last touches of the blue jay he had been working on.

"Dude, you should seriously consider art as a career once you get out of prison." Matthew blushed and smiled a bit.

"Nah, I still want to be a chef." He looked at his brother who had moved to a position that involved his feet on the window and his head dangling from his seat. How the teacher allowed this, Matthew will never know.

"Well, I know a lot of people who would kill for your talent." Alfred said, up-righting himself, his glasses askew and his hair sticking up in random places.

"Seriously, Al, I'm not _that_ good." Matthew put the paper in his notebook and then put the notebook in his keeper as he glanced up at the clock and saw they had about two minutes left.

"Hey, you think today will finally be the day Lovino doesn't glare at Antonio as he stares quite pointedly at Femke?" He was whispering and looked ready to burst with excitement.

"Alfred, I don't think that will ever happen. I think that you should just ask him out." Alfred gave him the "you're-kidding-right?" look and Matthew simply shrugged. The bell rang and the two stood and made their way to lunch, starving for anything, even the strangely rubbery hot dogs seemed appetizing.

"Would Alfred Jones and Matthew Williams please report to the office immediately, please?" They looked at each other, hoping this wasn't like that time where someone had mistaken Matthew for Alfred and Alfred for some random blonde kid who practically worshipped Alfred when he had violated the school code for no drugs or alcohol. Man, that had been a hassle to work out. At least the creeper kid was gone now. They ventured through the halls to the front of the school and found their mom there, holding clothing and wearing a rather nice looking business suit.

"Boys, I need you to change into these. We had a sudden court date change and your father and I are going to battle for custody for you, Alfred. It should be fairly easy to win." Matthew and Alfred stood looking absolutely dazed, not ever once remembering hearing about any sort of battle for custody over Alfred. "Well, go on." She gestured towards the bathroom with the clothes in her arms. They took them and Matthew got dressed in the bathroom while Alfred changed in the nurse's office. They were wearing matching dark, navy blue suits and their mother had to help them with their ties; Alfred's a deep red and Matthew's matched his suit.

They piled into the car and left for the courthouse about five minutes from the school where they met their father and a few of their relatives. They entered the courtroom and that's where all hell was set loose.

**LMNOP**

Later that evening, you could easily walk into the town's barbeque restaurant (Billie-Joe's Barbeque) and hear some intense celebrating going on. It was by miracle that Matthew was a junior and had his driver's license because his mother decided that she easily deserved a drink or seven. They all had good laughs and finally Alfred and Matthew had to drag her out of the restaurant and drive home.

"Hey, honey~" Matthew's mom slurred, holding her heels in her hand as she saw her husband.

"Hello, dear, boys." He picked her up bridal style and carried her up the stairs, the entire time she was giggling and whooping.

"Hey, Matt," Matthew and Alfred both turned their heads as Kumajiro called for him from the living room. "Oh! Alfred, you're here too." He smiled at them both. He had sounded like he had something important to say and so Matthew shoo-ed Alfred upstairs but after much complaint ("Dude, what if they get. it. ON?") he instead was shoved out the door to go stay at a friend's house. He felt suddenly very shy.

"M-maybe Al is right. You wanna go for a walk?" He offered an awkward smile but Kumajiro paid it no mind and smiled back, standing up from the couch and nodding.

"I was hoping I could talk to you privately anyway." They had been walking along a trail for about ten minutes in nothing but silence when Kumajiro had broken it.

"Yeah, I could tell. That's why I kinda got rid of Al." Matthew looked over at his friend, suddenly feeling kind of awkward and a little self-conscious.

"Yeah, so, I was hoping that maybe you and I could go on a date?" Matthew stopped walking and so did Kuma.

"Kuma-"

"Wait," he held a hand up to stop him. "Before you just outright deny me, could you at least think about it and give me a chance?" Matthew figured that was fair, since he'd been denied so many times already.

"Well, alright. But, Kuma?"

"Yes, Matthew?" They had started walking again.

"How would you feel if you polar bear of almost eighteen years suddenly becomes human because he claims to love you and yet at the same time the guy you've been crushing on is finally and suddenly showing interest in you as well but now that you think about it, it probably wouldn't work out because you know he's also crushing on a different friend of yours meanwhile your brother is having relationship issues as well?" Kumajiro was silent for a moment, stopped and sat down on a root.

"Well, for question 1, probably freaked out but I already let you be freaked out. It's been almost two weeks, well, it will be wednesday, and you seem to be adjusting easily, if you aren't adjusted already. Question 2, I would try and figure out if he really did love me. Question 3, well, I would try and love them back. Where's all the romance in the world these days? Question 4, I would kick that guy to the curb. Actually, no, if he was a friend, I would help him get with his other friend and then my newfound lover and I could live happily ever after. Question 5, obviously I would do the good brother thing and help a brotha' out (a.k.a help him get the courage to ask the kid out)."

They simply stared at each other in silence. Matthew wondering how he had such simple and a little obvious answers ready so quickly.

"So, I'll expect an answer by tomorrow." Kumajiro said, walking over to Matthew who was still thinking about rather irrelevant things but was brought back into focus when he felt a pair of warm lips on his own. The pressure felt rather nice but then he remembered who was kissing him and fell backwards because he felt like pushing him away was to cruel.

Kumajiro only chuckled, expecting something of this nature and reached over to pull Matthew back up. He ruffled the blonde's hair, took his hand in his and they began to walk back to the house. Matthew tried his hardest not to completely enjoy his friend's fingers wrapped tightly around his.

Yes, Matthew Williams may have been purposely put himself in denial. No, he wouldn't admit it.

~i~

"Does this cookie taste odd to you?" And before Matthew could take the cookie, Alfred had shoved a slightly burnt tasting one into his mouth. Matthew chewed for a bit and swallowed as was the way you ate something.

"Yeah, you put them in for too long. Try taking them out sooner." It was the morning after the strange walk along the path and Kumajiro was acting like nothing had happened. In fact, he awoke to the tent empty. After traveling downstairs, he found Kumajiro making pancakes and Alfred mixing the batter for cookies.

"Alright, I'll put them in for only... Hey, Matt, how long did I put them in for last time?" Matthew simply shrugged his shoulders and sat down at the table which was when he realized his brother now lived with him now and OMG HOW WOULD HE MANAGE THAT STUPID GAME?

He did not realize he was clutching the table and panting hysterically, his glasses falling to one side, and making a rather strange face.

"Uh, Matthew?" He looked up and nearly fell backwards from his chair crying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and covering his face when Kumajiro set his plate of pancakes on the table, peering at him through his overgrowing bangs.

"I was just going to ask if you were fine." He stuck a hand out to help the poor kid up. "You've been acting strange all morning."

_What? _Matthew thought, _He's just going to act like _nothing happened _last night? _WHAT? _Of course I'm not alright you pale, wretched_-

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just still sleepy." He faked a yawn. "I'm just going to, y'know, go and get dressed."

Well, wasn't that awkward?

Matthew began to pick through his dresser and look over his floor when he reached his room, taking his time when he heard the door shut behind him and the lock click into place.

"Matthew~" He froze. Sweet Jesus, here it came.

"Y-yes?" He turned around and stood up straight, unable to fight the blush that made his stomach do little flips and try to crawl out of his mouth.

"I was hoping you had an answer to last night's question?" Kumajiro was smiling slyly at him and easing closer. Matthew's stomach seemed to be trying to choke him _and _make him feel sick at the same time. In fact, Matthew _had _thought about it and a shocking realization came to him.

"D-does it matter?" Kumajiro seemed a little surprised by this question.

"What do you mean? Of course it matters." Kumajiro was now in arm's reach.

"W-well, even if I said no-"

"So you're going to say yes?" Kumajiro's voice seemed to shoot straight through the roof with how high it went in excitement.

"I really have no choice. Even if I said no, like I was saying before, you would continue to pursue me until I said yes anyway." Kumajiro's face sank a little and Matthew's blush deepened, his stomach calming down a bit now that he had gotten that done with.

"So... So I'm just an annoyance?" His eyes became slits.

"What? No, no, I didn't say that!" Matthew suddenly said, only just then realizing the way his words sounded. "That's not what I meant at all."

"I bet if Gilbert had asked you out, you wouldn't have hesitated at all." Kumajiro accused. His pale complexion changed to a pink one as his eyes widened and he swore under his breath. "Matthew, that just- that just kinda came out." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. "Forget it."

"W-wait! Kumajiro, don't leave yet." Matthew quickly reached forward and grabbed the back of his shirt, not wanting to have his friend leave with them on such seemingly bad terms. Kumajiro swatted his hand off and turned around.

"Matthew, do you have any idea what it's like to have something you desire dangling mere inches from your fingers? Something you've wanted and finally thought you could reach, only for the person dangling the thing to pull it just far enough that it remained out of reach?" Matthew stared at Kumajiro, a little confused. "It's like you said at the beginning of this, why would- how could I have expected for you to just fall into my arms and love me?" He walked over to the bedroom door and unlocked it. "I plan on getting a job soon. I think I'll buy myself a small apartment. Don't know how easy it'll be since I don't have any schooling but-"

"Yes."

"What?" Kumajiro furrowed his eyebrows, still facing the door.

"I'll go on the date with you. Just, promise you won't leave." Kumajiro turned his head around, mildly surprised. Yeah, it had been a rather harsh to pull the "boo-hoo you won't love me, I'm leaving" card, but if he could just get him to go on _one _date with him, he knew he could change Matthew's mind.

He turned completely around and pulled a shocked Matthew into a hug, holding him tightly.

"I promise." And tentatively, so very tentatively, Matthew reached his arms up and hugged Kumajiro back almost as tightly. "Now," Kumajiro said, breaking the awkward silence, "You should get downstairs and eat your breakfast so you aren't late for school!" He said, almost too cheerfully.

"School!" Matthew gasped, leaping backwards out of Kumajiro's arms and back to searching for clothes. He was satisfied with a pair of baggy jeans, a white T and a red sweatshirt. He quickly combed through is hair and bolted downstairs.

Kumajiro followed slowly after and saw a little sticky note on the counter telling him he should get a hair cut since it was growing kind of long. He picked at his stick straight white blond hair frowning. Sure it as getting rather long, almost shoulder length even!, but he didn't want to cut it. So he simply opted for putting it in a ponytail high on his head.

Besides, he had no money nor talent to cut his hair. Silly Matthew.

_**OHHHH, CAAAANADAAAA~**_

When Matthew returned home later that day, exhausted for he had gym as the last class of the day and they had gone outside due to the nice weather to play soccer and Gilbert tried to kill him, he saw Kumajiro sleeping on the couch. A little envious, he sat beside his friend and flopped to the side so that he was lying down. He inhaled and exhaled deeply before rolling over, only to come face to well, foot, with Kumajiro's feet. He groaned and rolled back over but only managed to fall off the couch. He sat up and leaned against the couch and simply let his head droop backwards and crossed his legs, too tired to really care.

He heard soft murmuring from Kumajiro and felt long, thin fingers gently brush against the base of his neck. Matthew suppressed a shiver he felt run down his spine at the contact and sat forward, taking the remote and turning the television on. Matthew nearly jumped out of his skin when it blasted heavy metal music and Kumajiro jumped awake, eyes wide, heart pounding too fast and too painfully. Once the groggy boy gathered his surroundings and realized there was a nearly dead Matthew in front of him, his heart slowed to its normal rate and Matthew was holding down the volume button, eager for it to grow somewhat silent again. They both sat in terror for a minute before Matthew looked at Kumajiro's surprised face and the teens broke out into a fit of giggles.

Once their voices died down and all that was left was near silent growling in the background, the two sat in a comfortable silence in which Matthew did not catch himself staring at every detail of Kumajiro's face, especially focusing on the bright eyes and Kumajiro did not catch himself, nor did he want to, when he bent forward, cupped Matthew's face, startling him and leaned in close enough that he could feel Matthew's now labored breathing against his lips.

"Kumajiro," Matthew felt his heart pound against his rib cage painfully, wishing the other teen would pull away as a joke. "K-Kumajiro, wh-when did you plan our date to be?" He felt his glasses being pulled off his face and tried to strike up a conversation to keep those advancing lips at bay.

"We could start now." Kumajiro mumbled, his lips barely touching Matthew's as he did so. Matthew's mind went blank and he swore his heart stopped for all coherent thought left his brain the second Kumajiro pressed his lips firmly against his. He felt himself take in a sharp breath before falling backwards and scrambling to get up and rush upstairs, moments later hearing a door slam open and his brother call out greetings to Kuma. He shut his door quietly and only then did he realize everything was abnormally blurry.

His glasses! He had forgotten his glasses downstairs in the rush to get away. He groaned and hit his head a couple of times against the door.

"You know, it's rude to run out on your date, Mattie-poo." He jumped at the sound of his brother's teasing voice, having not heard him come up the stairs.

"Wh-what do you mean?" His voice sounded oddly high pitched to him. Hmm, had to have been his imagination. He still felt short of breath.

"I _mean_," Alfred stressed the last word, "that you shouldn't have run out on yours and Kumajiro's date."

There was a pause in the conversation as what Alfred said sunk into Matthew.

"Wait a second, you _know_?" Matthew tore the door open, only to be tackled by Alfred to lay across his chest.

"Psh, well, I _am _the hero. It would be a tad pathetic if I didn't even know who my bro was dating." He chuckled and played with Matthew's hair.

"No! Not that! I mean, you know about _Kumajiro_?" He whispered the name and Alfred began to click his tongue.

"Out of everything I said, that's all you caught?" Alfred smiled. "Sweetie, I've known for awhile. Kuma and I have had some pretty fuckin' intense hero time. Well, Feliks, Kumajiro and I, but don't worry, we introduced him as Nanuq so 's all good." Alfred shrugged his shoulders. "Now, back to that date." Alfred's smile was lewd at best so Matthew shoved him off with a grunt.

"You, dear brother, are becoming a fat ass." Matthew offered his own innocent smile and made his way downstairs, the little pit of dread in his stomach growing larger with each step as he descended.

"I take it you sent Alfred up to send me down." Matthew joked as he sat down next to Kumajiro as he lazily flipped through the channels.

"You could say that." He had a cheesy half grin plastered on his face as he leaned in against Matthew. When Matthew tensed up, Kumajiro sighed.

"I'm not going to molest you, you know?" He smiled when he looked at Matthew who was red-faced but forcing a smile on his face.

"I-I know." He felt Matthew relax and let out a deep breath. "Isn't it ever awkward?" Shit. Matthew felt his face burn and the pit in his stomach was worse than ever. Matthew definitely had a way with words.

"What do you mean?" Kumajiro sat up, confused.

"W-well, I mean, it's always a tad awkward for me and... well, I was just wondering if it was ever awkward for you... after we kiss and I run away like an insincere ass and yeah." Matthew stared at his lap, realizing he still didn't have his glasses back but not really caring since he was sitting in such a quiet room. Shit, why was it so quiet?

He jumped when he felt a hand grab his arm and pull him towards the body it belonged.

"It's not only awkward, but it hurts like hell." Kumajiro confessed, hugging Matthew as best he could. If the tension in the air had ben thick before, it was nothing short of suffocating now. Matthew was lost now and hated himself for letting his mouth gain control over his brain. He also really just wanted to breathe since he hoped that would help relieve that stupid feeling in the pit. He knew it was sadness and anger and other negative feelings and he had such an urge to apologize profusely and even kiss Kumajiro that- _Oh shit, when did my lips fall on his?_

It was all he could think as he placed small kisses on Kumajiro's mouth and wiped away his tears. He could hear himself apologizing profusely, but the only thing he could focus on was the hands that were pulling him into a lap, the lips that returned the kisses, and his brother's snickering.


	4. My Dearest Readers

Hey, everybody!

I know, to those of you following or maybe just passing by, you may think I have either given up this story, dropped it, or, for the more paranoid, I have died. Well, good news, I didn't not drop nor did I give up on this story, but I am dead.

So, basically I went on vacation and my brother ran over my computer cord with a sharp object leaving me with zero way to keep my computer alive. So, until I get a new cord, which will hopefully be next month, _L, M, N, O, P_ will be on a hiatus. If I have not returned by next month, then I have no idea how long it'll be before I return with this. Hopefully I can produce one chapter while on this computer.

Also, LMNOP will be decidedly longer than what I originally planned. I just... can't manage to get them together under their circumstances that fast. Maybe I'll produce a small one shot of Kuma already as a human and they fall in love and blah blah blah.

Anyway, to those of you still here, thank you so much! To those of you who are new, I hope you can bear (OMG LOL PUN) with this extreme lack of update.

THIS STORY IS NOT FORGOTTEN!

Love,

Happiness

(This announcement is brought to you due to Happiness' gracious friend.)


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